Sunday, December 31, 2017

"You Got To Say 'Yes' To Your Destiny...."



Disco Cabbie (Dave Chappelle): "Sweetheart, you know what you need to do? You need to get in this cab. 

Cindy (Kate Hudson): "I do?"

Disc Cabbie (Dave Chappelle): "You got to say 'yes' to your destiny......Destiny awaits!"

200 Cigarettes (1999) Directed by Risa Bramon Garcia

Saturday, December 30, 2017

"This Is Your Opportunity To Rise....."



Coach Jack Lengyel (Matthew McConaughey): "How you play today, from this moment on, is how you will be remembered. This is your opportunity to rise from these ashes and grab glory...."

We Are Marshall (2006) Directed by McG

Friday, December 29, 2017

"Must You Flirt?"



Ninotchko (Greta Garbo): "Suppress it."

Ninotchko (1939) Directed by Ernst Lubitsch 

Thursday, December 28, 2017

"I Have A Condition...."



CIA Agent Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich): "That sounds like something you should be telling your psychiatrist."

US Marshall Harry Pfarrer (George Clooney): "I don't have a psychiatrist." 

Burn After Reading (2008) Written and Directed by Joel and Ethan Cohen 

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

"I Just Wanted To Say Goodbye....."



Mark (Ricky Gervals): "I didn't know that."

Brad (Rob Lowe): "Yeah; a lot of people know that. I even turned some other people against you."

The Invention of Lying (2009) Written and Directed by Ricky Gervals and Matthew Robinson

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

"The Seeds of Destiny...."



 The Narrator (Roscoe Lee Browne): "It was at that time, Mrs. Hoggett began to worry about her husband but Farmer Hoggett knew that little ideas that tickled and nagged and refused to go away should never be ignored.  For in them, lie the seeds of destiny."

Babe (1995) Written and Directed by Chris Noonan 

Monday, December 25, 2017

"Grace....."



Lewis (William Hickey): "They want you to say Grace.....The Blessing!!"

Aunt Bethany (Mae Questel): "I pledge allegiance to the flag..."

Christmas Vacation (1989) Written by John Hughes

Sunday, December 24, 2017

"Alright; I Rid Myself of All My Grievances...."



Drew (Ben Affleck): (lights his lists of hurts and grievances on fire, outside his childhood home) "I forgive you."

Surviving Christmas (2004) Directed by Mike Mitchell

Saturday, December 23, 2017

"The Heritage Hills Series Is Very Inclusive..."



Claire Wellington (Glenn Close): "In fact, there is a whole chapter on Hanukkah." 

The Stepford Wives (2004) Directed by Frank Oz

Friday, December 22, 2017

"Are You The Lord?"



Jesus (Will Ferrell):  "Well, to you, I am. See technically, you're in this REM sleep state and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God, some past authority figures, uhh, sky, and your dad.  Basically, your subconscious came up with me to help you deal. Dig? 

Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon): "Yeah. Uhh, do you want a glass of water or something?"

Jesus (Will Ferrell): "No; I'm good.  I'm God." 

Superstar (1999) Directed by Bruce McCulloch

Thursday, December 21, 2017

"How Many Hours?...."



Charlie (Tom Cruise): "I'll see ya soon."

Raymond (Dustin Hoffman): "Yeah; one for bad, two for good."

Charlie (Tom Cruise): "Bet two for good."

Raymond (Dustin Hoffman): "Yeah. Of course, it's three minutes until Wopner."

Charlie (Tom Cruise): "You'll make it."

Rain Man (1988) Directed by Barry Levinson

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

"Can I Please Have Some More Mimosa Juice?"



George (Paul Rudd): (stands up and breaks plate) "Who knows how many days any of us have on this earth. I want to fill mine with laughter, happiness, and love.  Let's get the fuck out of here!!!....."

Wanderlust (2012) Directed by David Wain 

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

"Always Be Closing...."



Blake (Alec Baldwin): "You want to work here?  Close!!......Go and do likewise, Gents."

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) Directed by James Foley


Monday, December 18, 2017

"I'll See You Down The Road...."



Agent Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale):  "No; you will not. The only way that you will leave a jail cell is when we take you out to execute you."

Johnny Dillinger (Johnny Depp): (Replying to Agent Purvis as he turns to leave the jail) "Well; we'll see about that. You ought to get yourself another line of work, Melvin." 

Public Enemies (2009) Written and Directed by Michael Mann

Sunday, December 17, 2017

"I'm Not Alec...."



Fred Claus (Vince Vaughn): "My name is Fred Claus."

Brothers Anonymous Group: "Hi Fred."

Fred Claus (Vince Vaughn): "Hi. I'm uhhh Santa Claus' brother and I got a lot of stuff going on because of it.  There's a lot of things. Umm. I've got a lot of juice in the tank over it and uhhh...

Stephen Balding: (Interrupts Fred) "Is this a joke to you?!" I'm Stephen, by the way."

Brothers Anonymous Group: "Hi Stephen." 

Stephen Balding: Hi guys! What's up? (Acknowledges the group and continues response to Fred)  I mean because this isn't funny to all of us in this group.  This is very serious to us and I'm feeling very uncomfortable from where you're coming from."

Group Leader (William Dick): "Stephen, maybe to him, his brother IS Santa Claus."


Fred Claus (2007) Directed by David Dobkin 


Saturday, December 16, 2017

"Here's Another Look At The Winning Numbers....."



Grandma (Loretta Devine): "You got all six numbers?!"

Kevin (Bow Wow): "Yes; we won!!"  (Both of them scream together in unison...)

Lottery Ticket (2010) Directed by Erik White

Friday, December 15, 2017

"Put On Psy-War Op. Make It Loud...."



Lieutenant Colonel  Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall): "Big Duke 6 to Eagle Thrust. Put on psy-war op. Make it loud.  This is a Romeo Foxtrot.  Shall we dance?" (queue "Ride of the Valkyries")

Apocalypse Now (1979) Written and Directed by Francis Ford Coppola 

Thursday, December 14, 2017

"No; I Haven't Got Any Change...."



Shaun (Simon Pegg); (staggering through his morning, oblivious to the un-dead) "No; I haven't got any change.  I didn't even have enough for the f*cking shop."

Shaun of the Dead ( 2004)  Directed by Edgar Wright 

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

"It's Christmas Time. Everybody Is Uptight...."



Billy/William (Eddie Murphy): "So, people that own the pork belly contracts are going bat shit!  Cause they're thinking, "hey, we're loosing all our damn money and Christmas is around the corner and I ain't gonna have no money to buy my son the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip. Okay. And my wife ain't gonna want to f-, my wife ain't gonna want to make love to me because I ain't got no money.' Right. So, they're sitting there and they're panicking, screaming, 'Sell. Sell.' Cause they don't want to lose all their money.  Right. They're out there panicking, right now. I can feel it. They're panicking.  Look at it."

Trading Places (1983) Directed by John Landis

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

"Successful. Powerful. Handsome. Happy...."



Evan Baxter (Steve Carrell): "I'm successful, powerful, handsome, happy.  Successful. Powerful. Handsome. Happy.  Alright, everyone.  Wish me luck.  The congressman has left the building."


Evan Almighty (2007) Directed by Tom Shadyac

Monday, December 11, 2017

"Daybreak News...."



Becky (Rachel McAdams): (laughing, speaks into prompter to queue newscaster) "That's so good! Do it again." 

Morning Glory (2010) Directed by Roger Michell 

Sunday, December 10, 2017

"See With Your Mind's Eye...."



Monte (Morgan Freeman): (teaching young Finnegan to use her imagination) "What don't you see?....... Keep looking. There's a mystery to making things up, kiddo, and life offers no guarantees."

The Magic of Belle Island (2012) Written and Directed by Rob Reiner 

Saturday, December 9, 2017

"I Need A Map...."



John Forbes Nash Jr. (Russell Crowe): "...These are latitudes and longitudes. There are at least ten others. They appear to be routing orders across the board into the US."

A Beautiful Mind (2001) Directed by Ron Howard

Friday, December 8, 2017

"Write....Start Punching Those Keys"



William Forrester (Sean Connery): "You write the first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is to write, not to think."

Finding Forrester (2000) Directed by Gus Van Sant 

Thursday, December 7, 2017

"Finding The Magical In The Mundane...."



Naomi (Greta Gerwig): (giving an informal tour in Grand Central Station, NY) "It's the only place in Manhattan that you can see the stars but it wasn't always that way." 

Arthur (2011) Directed by Jason Winer

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

"Before He Came Down Here, It Never Snowed...."



Kim (Winona Ryder): ".....and afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now, I don't think it would be snowing.  Sometimes, you can still catch me dancing in it."

Edward Scissorhands (1990) Written and Directed by Tim Burton 

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

"Here's What I've Learned....."


 

Buddy/Bailey (Josh Gad): "So, in all of my lives as a dog, here's what I've learned:  

*Have fun, obviously. 
*Whenever possible, find someone to save and save them. 
*Lick the ones you love. Don't get all sad face about what happened and scrunchy faced about what could.  Just be here, now.  
*Be here, now.  That's a dog's purpose."


A Dog's Purpose (2017) Directed by Lasse Hallström

Monday, December 4, 2017

"Pul-chri-tude....."



Akeelah (Keke Palmer): "It's derived from the Latin word, pulcher; meaning beautiful.  Isn't it?"

Akeelah and the Bee (2006) Directed by Doug Atchison 

Sunday, December 3, 2017

"JOY-GASM!!!"



The Riddler (Jim Carrey): "Somebody tell the Fat Lady, she's on in five!"   

Batman Forever (1995) Directed By Joel Schumacker

"I'm The Queen of England!!!"



Victoria (Helen Mirren):  (After pretending to be insane) "I mean, I think it was really, really good.  I felt that I was kind of channeling Betty Davis. Ya know?"  

Red 2 (2013) Directed by Dean Parisot

Saturday, December 2, 2017

"Insanity Runs In My Family....."



Mortimor (Cary Grant): "Elaine. Elaine, darling, I love you so much. I can't go through with our marriage. 

Elaine (Priscilla Lane): "Have you suddenly gone crazy?"

 Mortimor (Cary Grant): "No, No; I don't think so but it's only a matter of time. Now, look darling. You wouldn't want to have children with three heads would you?  You wouldn't want to set up housekeeping in a padded cell?  No, that would be bad.....Look, I probably should have told you this before but you see, insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops!...."  

Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) Directed by Frank Capra

Friday, December 1, 2017

"Sometimes, It's Easier Living The Lie...."



Frank W. Abagnale, Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio): "I don't understand."

Agent Carl Hanratty (Tom Hanks): " Sure you do. Sometimes it's easier living the lie.  I'm gonna let you fly tonight, Frank.  I'm not even gonna try to stop ya because I know you'll be back on Monday."

Frank W. Abagnale, Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio):  "Yeah. How do you know, I'll come back?"

Agent Carl Hanratty (Tom Hanks): "Look! (Carl motions behind Frank) Frank, no one is chasing you."

Catch Me If You Can (2002) Directed by Steven Spielberg

Thursday, November 30, 2017

"Surely, You Can't Be Serious?..."



Dr. Rumack (Leslie Mann): "Can you fly this plane and land it?"

Ted Striker (Robert Hays): "Surely, you can't be serious?"

Dr. Rumack (Leslie Mann): "I am serious and don't call me Shirley........


Airplane (1980) Written and Directed by David and Jerry Zucker

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

"Wheels Have Stopped...."



Astronaut Frank Corvin (Clint Eastwood): "Whew! Wheels have stopped. Deadless is ohm."

Space Cowboys (2000) Directed by Clint Eastwood

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

"This Conversation Can Serve No Purpose, Anymore...."



Astronaut David Bowman (Keir Dullea):  "Open the pod bay doors, Hal."

Hal 9000 Computer:  (Responds in monotone) "I'm sorry, Dave: I'm afraid can't do that."

Astronaut David Bowman (Keir Dullea): "What's the problem?"

Hal 9000 Computer: (speaking in monotone) "I think you know what the problem is, just as well as I do."

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) written, directed, and produced by Stanley Kubrick

Monday, November 27, 2017

"Pilot, Identify Yourself..."



Russell Kay (Randy Quaid):  It's me; Russell Kay, Sir. I told you that I wouldn't let you, down.  Just keep those guys off me a few more seconds.  Would ya?

Independence Day (1996) Written and Directed by Roland Emmerick

Sunday, November 26, 2017

"Lost..."



Capt. "Wild" Bill Kelso (John Belushi): (Lost in flight, pulls out a Coca Cola) "Can Opener?!" 

1941 (1979) Written by Robert Zemeckis, Directed by Steven Spielberg 

Saturday, November 25, 2017

"Uhh, Are You Outta Your Mind?"



Hal (Jack Black): "Um-kay, Cuckoo!  Cuckoo! Trust me.  Whatever you are doing, it's working.~" 

Shallow Hall (2001)

Friday, November 24, 2017

"Black Friday................"



Opening scene:  Black Friday at a shopping mall. 

Queue music:  "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas" by Bing Crosby

Krampus (2015)

Thursday, November 23, 2017

"First, Let's Give Thanks....."



George (Adam Sandler):  "Okay; so -first, let's give thanks to our families not being here. It's always easier without the family.  I see you guys and you're so much younger than me.  I had no idea that I was the old guy until I looked at you, guys.......It's good to be young.  It kinda sucks being old.  So, just enjoy this. Enjoy time.  Time slips away. I promise ya.......So, uhh, things slip away.  If you love somebody don't let them slip away. I swear to ya, this will be you're most memorable Thanksgiving.  The one that you want the rest of your life....."

Funny People (2009)

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

I'm On My Way....



Claudia (Holly Hunter): (Flying home for the holidays, Claudia picks up phone to call her brother and leaves confession on his answering machine.) "Hi little brother!  It's your big, bad sister.  Where are you?  I'm on my way to Henry and Adele's, which I know is the last place on earth that you'd want to drive a million miles in holiday traffic to be at and I don't blame you. Have Thanksgiving with your friends. I would, if I had any but then I'd have to send them birthday cards. Which is a lie of course because you know I'm only looking for pity. Jesus, my, my, my. (silent pause) Shit! (change in tone)I really wish you were going to be there, kiddo because I'm sick as a dog, I made out with my boss, and my kid is going to have sex with another teenager, and then I got fired or the other way around! Whatever! Oh my God! I can't believe I just left this on your answering machine. I hate machines! Get rid of this tape.  It's nothing.  It's no big deal. I'm fine.  I just miss you, guys!  Happy Thanksgiving! Give Jack a big, big hug from me.  That's it from me. Love Claud. (hangs up phone and sighs) God, that was moronic!"

Home for the Holidays (1995)

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Turkey Dinner With Grandma Mazur.........


 

Mrs. Plum (Debra Monk): "Stephanie started a new job."

Stephanie Plum (Katherine Heigl):  "Yeah; I did.  Just got a gun....doing the bounty hunter thing. We're going after Joe Moerelli..........."

Grandma Mazur (Debbie Reynolds) pulls Stephanie's gun from her purse to inspect it, while dinner conversation continues.

Mrs. Plum (Debra Monk):  "Put the gun away, Ma! I don't know why I even try."

Grandma Mazur (Debbie Reynolds) pulls the trigger and shoots the dinner turkey, on the table.

Mrs. Plum (Debra Monk):  "Now, look what you did!!!"

Mr. Plum (Louis Mustillo): "She belongs in a home!!!!"  

One for the Money (2012)

Monday, November 20, 2017

"Was That You?"



Claudia (Holly Hunter): "No! (motions with her eyes to kooky Aunt Gladys)

Aunt Gladys (Geraldine Chaplin):  (passes gas, again) "How fast can you go, Tommy?"

Tommy (Robert Downey Jr.): "Like the wind, Honey." 

Home for the Holidays (1995)

Sunday, November 19, 2017

"Keep Her Straight....."



Charlie (Chris O'Donnell); "You're going to get us killed!"

Colonel Frank (Al Pacino):  "Don't blame me, Charlie.  I can't see."  

Scent of a Woman (1992)

Saturday, November 18, 2017

"Top Of The Morning, Officer...."



Highway Patrol Officer (Michael McKean): "Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?"

Del Griffith(John Candy): "Yes; I do.  Yes: I do.  I know it's not pretty to look at but it'll get you where you want to go."

Highway Patrol Officer (Michael McKean):  "You got no outside mirror?"

Del Griffith (John Candy):  "No; we lost that."

Highway Patrol Officer (Michael McKean): "You have no functioning gauges?"

Del Griffith (John Candy):  "No; not a one.  However, the radio still works....clear as a bell. Don't ask me how."

Highway Patrol Officer (Michael McKean): "I can't let you go ahead in this vehicle.....no; it's not fit for the road. The vehicle will be impounded, until such time as it can be made for safe travel on the state highway."

Del Griffith (John Candy): "....If you impound our car, I'm going to be unable to get my friend here home in time for his Thanksgiving dinner."  

Planes, Trains, & Automobiles (1987)

"Write Me Well...."



Shakespeare (Joseph Fiennes): "My story starts at sea. A perilous voyage to an unknown land. A shipwreck. The wild waters roar and heave.  The brave vessel is dashed to pieces.  All of the helpless souls within her drowned.  All save one, a lady; whose soul is greater than the ocean and her spirit stronger than the seas embrace.  Not for her a watery end but a new life beginning on a stranger shore.  It'll be a love story.  For she will be my heroine for all time....."

Shakespeare In Love (1998)

Friday, November 17, 2017

"You Face The Future With Your Heads Held High....."



Dean Anderson (Harve Presnell): "Dr. Hunter "Patch" Adams"

(Crowd cheers and laughs.....)

Patch Adams (1998)

Thursday, November 16, 2017

"This Above All....."



Polonius (Bill Murray): "This above all: To thine own self be true and it must follow as the night, the day. Thou canst not then be false to any man."  

Hamlet (2000)

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

"Hey!! What's Going On In There?!"



Claire (Molly Ringwold): "He's just doing it to get a rise out of you.  Just ignore him."

Bender (Judd Nelson):  "Sweets, you couldn't ignore me, if you tried."

The Breakfast Club (1985)

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

"Valid"



Vincent (Ethan Hawke):  "I got it."

Jerome Morrow (Jude Law):  "Of course, you got it"

Vincent (Ethan Hawke):  "And that's the way it was.......I was now a member of a relatively new and particularly detested segment of society, one who refuses to play the hand he was dealt."

Gattaca (1997)