Thursday, August 31, 2017

"Are You Out Of Your Mind?"

"That was my guest, Dr. Rick Marshall.  His book comes out tomorrow.  You might want to look for it in the "I'm out of my freaking mind" department.  Matt Lauer/Land of the Lost

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

"I Don't Know How To Do All Of Your Adult Crap...."

"This is called a suit. You wear one everyday, along with a neck tie, black not white socks, dress shoes, not shower sandals, underwear.....No, no, no; no more commando!  You're a grown-ass man.  Put them on.

This is called a schedule.  It tells you everything that you need to do each day - pick ups, drop offs, doctor appointments, activities, play-dates, etc.  You'll notice that there are 15 hours of obligations on any given day.  Make it work!

This is called a grocery store.  People buy food here.  It's part of your responsibilities.  Before heading to the market, always call Jamie and ask if she needs anything, first.  In fact, before making any decision in your life, no matter how small, call your wife first.  Think of yourself as a brain damaged mule, lost in the desert; helpless, dumb, and in constant need of direction.  Never take the initiative, never strike out on your own, and never deviate from the plan. Why??  Because you are a brain damaged mule and you are lost in the damn desert!!

These are called children or dependents. Never disparage your own child.  Everything they do is a miracle from God.  When they're bad, it's only because they're tired or going through a phase.  When other kids are bad, it's because of indulgent parenting or some innate defects in the child's character.

Be fifteen minutes early for everything.  It doesn't matter what it is - a meeting, an event.  Less stress for me. Less stress for you.... "  Mitch (Ryan Reynolds)/The Change-Up

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

"You Know What I'm Talking About, Don't You?"


"I can remember when I was a little boy. My Grandmother and I could hold conversations entirely, without ever opening our mouths.  She called it, "Shining."  For a long time, I thought that it was just the two of the us that had the "shine" to us.  Just like you probably thought that you were the only one but there are other folks.  Though, mostly they don't know it or don't believe it.  How long have you been able to do it?"  Halloran (Scatman Crothers)/The Shining

"Oh, God! You're A Morning Person...."

"Well, like I always tell my clients, 'Begin each day, as if it were on purpose.'" Hitch (Will Smith)/Hitch

Sunday, August 27, 2017

"Where Did You Lose Your Manhood?"

"Are You Steve Jobs?  Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?.....In that case, you have no right wearing New Balance sneakers - ever!"  Jacob (Ryan Gossling)/Crazy, Stupid, Love

Saturday, August 26, 2017

"You Deserve A Medal Or A Holiday..."

"Well, it looks like my ride is here.  I'm going to skedaddle before life gets anymore daft....Listen, don't let 'em grind you down.  Take it easy. " Aldous (Russell Brand)/Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Friday, August 25, 2017

Thursday, August 24, 2017

"Alright, Let's Hear It....."

"Eighty percent of this floor was just sent home, forever.  We spent the last hour saying our goodbyes. They were good people.  They were good at their jobs but you were better. Now, they're gone.  They're not to be thought of again. This is your opportunity! On every floor of this building and in every office from Hong Kong to London, the same thing is happening. By the time, we're done, three of every seven guys, standing between you and your boss, are gone. That is your opportunity. I've been with this place 34 years and I can tell you that this is not the last time that you're going to go through this but you are all survivors.....So, keep your heads high. Let's get back to work.  Let's hear it!"  Sam Rogers (Kevin Spacey)/Margin Call

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

"Aren't You Afraid?..."

"I'm terrified but my father told me you should always face what you're afraid of...."  Alan (Robin Williams)

"Good, Lad.  You're finally acting like a man.  Any last words?" Van Pelt (Jonathan Hyde)

 "(Dice Lands) Jumanji...."  Alan (Robin Williams)/Jumanji

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

"This Is No Time To Take Your Chips Down....."

"You don't even know what the thing is yet, how big it can get, how far it can go.  This is no time to take your chips down.  A million dollars isn't cool.  You know what's cool? ... A billion dollars......and that's where you're headed, a billion dollar valuation, unless you take bad advice.  In which case, you may as well of come up with a very successful chain of yogurt shops. When you go fishing, you can catch a lot of fish or you can catch big fish.  Have you ever walked into a guy's den and see a picture of him standing next to 14 trout?.......I don't have a dog in this fight.  I'm just a fan that came to say 'hi.'"  Founder of Napster, Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake)/The Social Network

Monday, August 21, 2017

"Night Without A Day, Day Without A Night"...........

"Look at her!! Look at me!  Now, look at us. Look at us!!" Captain Etienne Navarre (Rutger Hauer)

"It's over.  The curse is broken."  Imperius The Monk (Leo McKerne)/Ladyhawke

Sunday, August 20, 2017

"What's On Your Mind?"

"I didn't say that!  The simple fact is you feel responsible for Goose and you have a confidence problem. Now, I'm not going to sit here and blow sunshine up your ass, Lieutenant. A good pilot is compelled to always evaluate what's happened, so that he can apply what he has learned.  Up there, we got to push it!  That's our job.  It's your option, Lieutenant.  All yours...."  Viper (Tom Skerritt)/Top Gun

Saturday, August 19, 2017

"You're On It, Now. Yeah!"

"Traffic, traffic.  No more traffic."  Michael Newman (Adam Sandler)/Click

Friday, August 18, 2017



"Thank you, Regund." Michael (Zach Braff)/The Last Kiss (2006)

Thursday, August 17, 2017

"One Thing At A Time, Man...."

"I'm not a frog and you're not a bunny, so let's not jump ahead."  Chester (Quentin Tarantino)/Four Rooms

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Racial Stereotypes............

"Yo!! Hold up!! Time out!  Time Out! Ya'll take a chill! You need to cool that shit out and that's the double truth!!!  Mister Senor Love Daddy DJ (Samuel L. Jackson)/Do The Right Thing

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

"I'm Going To Explain To You The Way I Work......"

"When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay.  When you want me but no longer need me, I must go."  Nanny McPhee (Emma Thompson)/Nanny McPhee Returns

Monday, August 14, 2017

"I Uncovered An Article About The Common Goldfish......."

"'Kept in a small bowl, the goldfish will remain small.  With more space, the fish will grow double, triple, or quadruple its size.'  It occurred to me then, perhaps the reason for my growth was that I was intended for larger things.  After all, a giant man can't have an ordinary sized life." Ed (Ewan McGregor)/Big Fish

Sunday, August 13, 2017

"What I Say, You Do....."


"Walk on the road. Hmm. Walk right side, safe. Walk left side, safe.  Walk middle, sooner or later, squash just like grape....Karate, same thing. Either you Karate do, yes or Karate do, no.....We make sacred pact.  I teach Karate, at my part.  You do what I say, no question. Deal?......First, wash all the car and then wax.....Don't forget to breathe - very important."  Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita)/The Karate Kid

Saturday, August 12, 2017

"I'll Have A Large Black Coffee......."

 "No; I mean a large....No; Venti is twenty.  Yeah. Large is large.  In fact, tall is large and grande is Spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesn't mean large and it's also the only one that's Italian. Congratulations!  You're stupid in three languages." Danny (Paul Rudd)

"Jesus, Dan!  You know what they call sizes here.  You know what?  You've been picking fights with's getting worst.  You know, man - the sun is shining but you've lost the ability to take any joy in life.  I can't stand it anymore!  You're just a miserable dick, now! You're mean to everybody! And FYI:  It's called a Venti because it's twenty ounces.  Twenty! Venti!" Beth (Elizabeth Banks)/Role Models 

Friday, August 11, 2017

"A Little House Warming.........."

"Thanks! Ahh, actually I gave this to you for your wedding."  Mitch (Luke Wilson)/Old School

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

"Somewhere Over The Rainbow....."

"...skies are blue and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true."  Dorothy (Judy Garland)/The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

"No! Excuse Me........."

"Price check..........put a rush on that."  Charlie aka Evil Hank (Jim Carrey)/Me, Myself, & Irene

Monday, August 7, 2017

"How Come?! Tell Me Why?!"

Professor Terguson (Sam Kinison):  "Welcome to Contemporary American History. I'm Professor Terguson. I know a lot of people think of history as just facts. It's just information about the past but not me. I mean I hold history very sacred. Sacred. The way the farmer holds the earth and looks at it, sacred. The way a Christian holds his bible, sacred. The way a lot of people hold their marriage as sacred.  That's how I feel about it. So, why don't we dive right in to my interpreting one of the easiest events of the last 20 years of American history.  Now, can someone tell me why in 1975, we pulled our troops out of Vietnam?

Student answers: "The failure of Vietnamization to win popular support caused an ongoing erosion of confidence int the various American but illegal Saigon regime."

Professor Terguson (Sam Kinison): "Is she right? (addresses classmates) Because I know that's the popular version of what went on there.  I know a lot of people like to believe that.  I wish I could but I was there!  I wasn't in a classroom, hoping I was right, thinking about it!  (voice gets increasingly louder)  I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns!  Going up against Charlie, slugging it out with him!  While pussies like you were back here partying, putting on headbands, doing drugs, listening to the god damn Beatles albums!!!  Ohhh!!! Ohhh!! (screaming at students)

Thornton (Rodney Dangerfield): "Hey, hey! Professor, take it easy! Would ya? I mean these kids were in grade school at the time and me, well I'm not a fighter. I'm a lover."

Professor Terguson (Sam Kinison): "Well.  Well, I didn't know you wanted to get involved in the discussion, Mr. Helper.  Since you want to help, maybe you can help me? Okay? Do you remember that thing we had about 30 years called the Korean Conflict?  Yeah. Where we failed to achieve victory. (raises voice into rant) How come we didn't cross over the 38 parallel and push those rice eaters back to the Great Wall of China?!  How come?!  Say it!! Say it!!!

Thornton (Rodney Dangerfield): "Alright; I'll say it.  (raises voice in response) Cuz, Truman was too much of a pussy-wimp to let MacArthur go back in there and blow up those commie bastards!!!"

 Professor Terguson (Sam Kinison): "Good answer. Good answer!  I like the way you think. I'm going to be watching you."

Thornton Melon (Rodney Dangerfield): "Good teacher!  He really seems to care - about what, I have no idea." 

Back to School (1986) Directed by Alan Meter

Sunday, August 6, 2017

"Everything Was Finally Falling Into Place. Like It Was Ummm......"

"The point is I totally realized, ya know - fate!  There is fate but it only takes you so far.  Cause once you're there, it's up to you to make it happen!"  The Angel (Jenna Elfman)/Can't Hardly Wait

Saturday, August 5, 2017

"Every Now And Then, Say......"

"'What the f***' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity.  Opportunity makes your future."  Miles (Curtis Armstrong)/Risky Business

Friday, August 4, 2017

"We're Talking Business...."

"Fredo, you're my older brother and I love you.  But don't ever take sides with anyone against the family, again.  Ever!" Michael Corleone (Al Pacino)/The Godfather

Thursday, August 3, 2017

"Care To Press Your Luck....."

"Let them pass that law and they'll have you in chains, with a number burned to your forehead....Then, kill me and find out. No. Then, release me.....Still unwilling to make sacrifices." Magneto (Ian McKellen)/X-Men

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

"Good Morning......"

"Hey kids.....aaahhhhh!!!"  Larry (Kevin James)/I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

"Call It......"

"You need to call it.  I can't call it for you.  It wouldn't be fair......You've been putting it up your whole life, you just didn't know stand to win everything.  Call it....Chiqurh (Javier Bardem)/No Country For Old Men