Randy (Jamie Kennedy): "There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie.
Rule #1: You can never have sex. Big No No! Big No No! Sex equals death.
Rule #2: You can never drink or do drugs. It's the sin factor. It's an extension of #1.
And Rule #3: Never, ever under any circumstances say that 'You'll be right back' because you won't be back."