Wednesday, February 28, 2018

"Things Are About To Change Around Here!!"



Elizabeth (Cameron Diaz): "Get out!  We are here to learn!!.......Things are about to change around here!  Recess is over." 

Bad Teacher (2011) Directed by Jake Kasdan 

Monday, February 26, 2018

"Sounds Like Someone Has A Case Of The Mondays...."



Peter (Ron Livingston): "I gotta get out of here.  I think, I'm going to lose it."

Office Space (1999) Directed by Mike Judge

Sunday, February 25, 2018

"I've Got To Fly...."



Max (David Krumholtz) "Congratulations, Sheila!  You are the new bank manager. Yeah, you deserve it. You've worked hard. You are such an amazing woman.  Hey, maybe we can grab a cup of coffee or something, come on over to the condo and make fondue, like old times." 

Sheila (Alicia Silverstone): "Oh, I would really love to, I really would.  But I'm a glorious bird and  I've got to fly. (laughs) I quit...."  

Scorched (2003) Directed by Gavin Grazer

Saturday, February 24, 2018

"You'll Have To Wait....."



Airline Agent (Amy Hohn): "I'm sorry.  We're only boarding rows 9 and above.  You'll have to wait."

Greg Focker (Ben Stiller): "Well, I'm in row 8."

Airline Agent (Amy Hohn):  "Please step aside, Sir."

Greg Focker (Ben Stiller): "It's just one row.  Don't you think it's okay, if I could just -"

Airline Agent (Amy Hohn):  "We'll call your row, momentarily. Step aside, Sir!"


Meet the Parents (2000) Directed by Jay Roach 

Friday, February 23, 2018

"It's A Must That Everyone Act As A Team...."



Restaurant training video: "While working here, you'll probably find some of your fellow employees attractive. That's okay! There's nothing wrong with that but it's important not to act on those urges.  For Shenanigans' to run like an efficient, well-oiled machine, it's a must that everyone act as a team. When employees date each other, unfortunately it complicates things.  So for that reason, we strongly discourage such relationships from forming." 

Waiting (2005) Directed by Rob McKittrick

Thursday, February 22, 2018

"This Week's Gastronomic Report...."



Kat (Annabelle Gish): "I still say we should get him to come here.  A good review would bring in tons of people off season."

Leona (Conchata Ferrell): "I wouldn't let that moron in the door." 

Kat (Annabelle Gish): "Why not?"

JoJo (Lili Taylor): "I bet if we had designer pizza....C'mon, Leona.  A little dry white wine, some smoked clams, some sun-dried tomatoes."

Daisy (Julia Roberts): "I think we should do it, Leona."

Leona (Conchata Ferrell): "Listen, young Ladies! We have the real thing right here.  The Mystic Pizza. Spices from the Alagarve back  in Portugal.  My grandfather taught my father how to make it and my father taught me. One of these days, when I retire, I just I might teach one of you. It's tradition and (they all say in unison) You don't monkey with tradition."

Mystic Pizza (1988) Directed by Donald Petrie

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

"Have You Ever Sold One Of These?"



Serge (Bronson Pinchot): "I see you look at this piece."

Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy): "Yeah. I was wondering.  How much something like this went for?"

Serge (Bronson Pinchot): "One hundred and thirty thousand dollar"

Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy): "Get the f*ck outta here!!"

Serge (Bronson Pinchot):  "No; I can not. It's serious because it's a very important piece." 

Beverly Hills Cop (1984) Directed by Martin Brest


Tuesday, February 20, 2018

"Customer Satisfaction - How May I Help You?"



Tank Turner (Dane Cook): "Here at Air Meister, we have two rules.  Rule #1 - No Refunds.  The beauty of an air purifier is that nobody can prove that it doesn't work."

(Buzzes receptionist) Amanda, you saucy tart, I want someone really pissed off. I'm talking Def-con II level of anger.  Who do you got for me, baby?"

Amanda (uncredited actor): "I have just the one for you, Tank.  She's furious and she's asked for you by name."

Tank Turner (Dane Cook): "Put her though. (answers phone) Tank Turner, Customer Satisfaction. How may I help you?" 

My Best Friend's Girl (2008) Directed by Howard Deutch

Monday, February 19, 2018

"No Substitutions...."



Bobby (Jack Nicholson): "What d'ya mean? You don't have any tomatoes?"

Waitress (Lorna Thayer): "Only what's on the menu. You can have the #2 - a plain omelet, cottage fries, and rolls."

Bobby (Jack Nicholson): "I know what it comes with but that's not what I want."  

Waitress (Lorna Thayer):  "I'll come back when you make up your mind." 

Bobby (Jack Nicholson):  "Wait a minute. I have made up my mind. I'd like a plain omelet, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee, and a side order of wheat toast."

Waitress (Lorna Thayer): "I'm sorry but we don't have any side orders of toast....."


Five Easy Pieces (1970) Directed by Bob Rafelson

Sunday, February 18, 2018

"You're Not Even Flying Today?!"



Airline Customer (Ben Stein): "No. Consumer Reports said if you make your travel arrangements, two weeks in advance, at the airport ~"

Jack Singer (Nicolas Cage): "Do you see this line?! We are all flying today!"

JFK Airline Agent (Joanna Lipari): "Please, Sir. If you don't get back in line ~"

Jack Singer (Nicolas Cage): (snaps) "Then, what?!?! I'll be arrested!! Put in airport jail?!?! (turns his tirade to airline customer) Just get your ticket and move on!  Okay?!  Get your G' damn ticket and move on!!!!!"

Honeymoon in Vegas (1992) Directed by Andrew Bergman 

Saturday, February 17, 2018

"Can Anybody Tell Me What's Wrong With This Picture?"



William "D-Fens" Foster (Michael Douglas): "See, this is what I'm talking about.  Turn around. Look at that.  See, what I mean?  It's plump. It's juicy. It's three inches thick.  Now, look at this sorry, miserable, squashed thing. Can anybody tell me what's wrong with this picture?  Anybody? Anybody at all?"

Falling Down (1993) Directed by Joel Schumacher

Friday, February 16, 2018

"Gird Your Loins!!"



Miranda Priestley (Meryl Streep): "I don't understand why it's so difficult to confirm an appointment."

Emily (Emily Blunt): "I know. I'm so sorry, Miranda. I actually did confirm last night ~"

Miranda Priestley (Meryl Streep): "The tales of your incompetence do not interest me......"

The Devil Wears Prada (2006) Directed by David Frankel 

Thursday, February 15, 2018

"You Ever Dance With The Devil....."




Jack Napier aka The Joker (Jack Nicholson): "Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?" 

Bruce Wayne aka Batman (Michael Keaton): "What?"

Jack Napier aka The Joker (Jack Nicholson): "I always ask that of all my prey. I  just like the sound of it.......Never rub another mans rhubarb." 

Batman (1989) Directed by Tim Burton

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

"I Know Who I Am...."



Louis Cyphre (Robert DeNiro): "Alas, how terrible is wisdom when it brings no profit to the wise, Johnny?"

Harry Angel (Mickey Rourke): "Louis Cyphre.  Lucifer?"

Louis Cyphre (Robert DeNiro): "Mephistopheles is such a mouthful, in Manhattan, Johnny."

Harry Angel (Mickey Rourke): "You think posing as the devil.....you think it's going to scare me? It ain't. I know who I am.  You killed them and you're trying to pin it on me."

Louis Cyphre (Robert DeNiro):  "If I had cloven hooves and a pointed tail, would you be more convinced?"

Harry Angel (Mickey Rourke): "I didn't kill them people.....I know who I am."

Louis Cyphre (Robert DeNiro):  "I'm afraid you did, Johnny......all killed by your own hand, guided by me, naturally............that's it, Johnny. Take a good look. However, cleverly you sneak up on a mirror, your reflection will always look you straight in the eye."


Angel Heart (1987) Directed by Alan Parker

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

"Do You Want To Be On The Show Next Week or Not?"



Buck Howard (John Malkovich): "That man is Satan and Buck Howard does not work with Satan!"


The Great Buck Howard (2008) Directed by Sean McGinly

Monday, February 12, 2018

"....Innocuous"



John Milton (Al Pacino): "Don't get too cocky, my boy, no matter how good you are.  Don't ever let 'em see ya coming.  That's the gaff, my friend. You gotta keep yourself small; innocuous.  Be the little guy.  You know; the nerd, the leper, the shit kicking surfer?  Look at me.- Underestimated from day one.  You'd never think that I'm a mass of the universe, now would ya? That's your only weakness, as far as I can see."

Kevin Lomax (Keanu Reeves): "What's that?'

John Milton (Al Pacino): "It's the look -that Florida stud thing. What is that?....."

Kevin Lomax (Keanu Reeves): "Never worked a jury that didn't have a woman."

John Milton (Al Pacino): "Yeah but you know what you're missing? You're missing what I have.......I'm a surprise, Kevin.  They don't see me coming.  That's what you're missing."


The Devil's Advocate (1997) Directed by Taylor Hackford

Sunday, February 11, 2018

"Dreams Are My Specialty...."



Darkness (Tim Curry): "The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity. Dreams are my specialty. Through dreams, I influence mankind....." 

Legend (1985) Directed by Ridley Scott

Saturday, February 10, 2018

"Alright; State Your Name and Power....."



Superhero Tryout:  (Uncredited actor):"I'm the Ballerina Man."

Mr. Furious (Ben Stiller): "I didn't need to see that......thanks"

Mystery Men (1999) Directed by Kinka Usher

Friday, February 9, 2018

"If It Wasn't For This Man, Here...."




Gus (Richard Pryor): "Superman, you saved our bacon and I'd like to show our gratitude."

Superman III (1983) Directed by Richard Lester

Thursday, February 8, 2018

"Open The Book...."



Hannah (Odeya Rush): "Zack, it's time to move on. Now, open the book, scaredy cat......I'll always be in your imagination......"

Goosebumps (2015) Written by RL Stein and Directed by Rob Lettermen

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

"All Work And No Play....."



Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson): "How do you like it?" (referring to his written novel)

The Shining (1980) Written by Stephen King and Directed by Stanley Kubrick

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

"These People Are Not Your Friends....."



Lester Bang (Phillip Seymour Hoffman): "Hey, you have to make your reputation on being honest and ya know, unmerciful.....And if you get into a jam, you can call me."

Almost Famous (2000) Written and Directed by Cameron Crowe

Monday, February 5, 2018

"We Each Pursue Our Own Economic Interests...."



Baird Whitlock (George Clooney): "Sure, good. Good stuff.  So, do I get a share in the ransom?"

Head Communist Writer (Max Baker): "No, Mr. Whitlock. You can hardly share in your own ransom. That would be unethical." 

Baird Whitlock (George Clooney): "Well, that doesn't seem fair, fellas. I mean the whole set up only works, if I play along. Right? If I don't let on that I know who kidnapped me."

Head Communist Writer (Max Baker): "Yes; that's right."

Baird Whitlock (George Clooney): "What if I name names? If I, just I, tell the truth."

Hail, Caesar! (2016) Written & Directed by Joel and Ethan Cohen 

Sunday, February 4, 2018

"You Need An Ending...."



Marcus Skinner (Kevin Kline): "Every good writer has a conflicted relationship with the place they grew up....And that's what I remember loving about your story.  It's very conflicted because at the beginning, you think, these people are doomed.  This family is headed for disaster.  Then, as you read on, you see there exists, beneath the surface, these very real connections, these deep relationships.  What I took from your story was this: that even in a world where people can be superficial and stupid and selfish, there's still hope.  Was that the message you were trying for?"

Orange County (2002) Directed by Jake Kasdan

Saturday, February 3, 2018

"I Want To Write A Story About You..."


 

Nathaniel Ayers, Jr. (Jamie Foxx): "Nobody can ever stop Mr. Lopez from what he needs to do. Are you flying that plane?"

Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr): "Uh, no. No; I'm right here."

Nathaniel Ayers, Jr. (Jamie Foxx): "I don't know how that works."

Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr):  "I called Julliard and they said that you went there but you didn't finish."

Nathaniel Ayers, Jr.(Jamie Foxx): "I bombed write out of there. I bombed out of Juliard."

Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr): "Yeah; what happened?"

Nathaniel Ayers, Jr. (Jamie Foxx): "It didn't happen. I don't know what happened...."

Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr): "Is there anyone I can contact? Family?"

Nathaniel Ayers, Jr. (Jamie Foxx): "Family? Uhh, Ms. Flore Ayers is my mom. She's a beautician. Beauty is art. Music is beauty. She don't do my hair. I do my own hair.....It's a dream out here, Mr. Lopez. Sun is shining, the nights are cool and serene and I notice that everyone is smiling. "

The Soloist (2009) Directed by Joe Wright

Friday, February 2, 2018

"Didn't We Do This, Yesterday?...."



Phil Connors (Bill Murray): "Do you ever have De'ja Vu, Mrs. Lancaster?"

Mrs. Lancaster (Angela Paton): "I don't think so but I could check with the kitchen."

Phil Connors (Bill Murray): "No; that's okay. Thank you."

Mrs. Lancaster (Angela Paton): "Will you be checking out today, Mr. Connors?" 

Phil Connors (Bill Murray): "I say the chance of departure is 80 percent.....75-80."

Groundhog Day (1993) Directed by Harold Ramis 

Thursday, February 1, 2018

"So, What's With That, Huh?.."



Lisa (Angelina Jolie): "You know what I think?............that is f*cked up, Daisy!"

Girl, Interrupted (1999) Directed by James Mangold