Dean (Kurt Russell): "You're so Goddamn bored, you gotta invent things to bitch about! You haven't got a single thing on this earth to do except your hair. Yeah! The closet was fine! You just needed something to take up your useless, empty, nail-polishing, toe-polishing, rich-bitch suntanning day!!"
Buddy/Prof. Sherman (Eddie Murphy): "Something is happening to me! Everything is getting real dark. Oh!I feel real jiggly! I'm blubberfying! Sherman, you needed me! I taught you to be confident! You needed me, Sherman! Sherman!! No matter what.....no matter what, you got to strut!!!!"
The Nutty Professor (1996) Directed by Tom Shadyac
Therapist (Ken Jeong): "It's like a little kid that gets a puppy for the first time and it just hugs it so much, it snaps it's neck. Cynthia is your puppy. It's puppy cradle death syndrome. All that love is going to snap that puppy. You don't want that! Arf!!!"
Couples Therapy (2009) Directed by Peter Billingsley
Mindy (Chole Moretz): "Actually, my daddy bought this from a disgruntled DARPA employee. You see it was designed for crowd control but deemed too severe. It admits a post that creates spontaneous nausea and diarrhea. He called it the 'Sick Stick.'"
Annie (Kristen Wiig): "Are you sure you want it to say forever? ....I don't think you guys will be best friends, forever. No offense but the friends that you have when you are younger, sometimes you grow apart. When you get older, maybe she finds a new best friend. Maybe she'll be more successful than you are, and prettier, and richer and skinnier. And they end up doing everything together."
Teenage Customer (Mia Rose Frampton):"You're weird."
Annie (Kristen Wiig): "I'm not weird. Okay"
Teenage Customer (Mia Rose Frampton): "Yes; you are."
Annie (Kristen Wiig): "No; I'm not and you started it."
Teenage Customer (Mia Rose Frampton): "No; you started it. Did you forget to take your Xanax, this morning?"
Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy): "This looks like a big joint."
Kee Nang (Charlotte Lewis): "I'm serious, Mr. Jarrell."
Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy): "Lick it and smoke it. (laughs - as he pantomimes) I think there were two of these (referring to the scroll) and you smoked the other one. Put this in your bag and stop smoking scrolls......"
Kee Nang (Charlotte Lewis): "I realize this is hard for you to take in but it is your destiny to find the Golden Child."
The Golden Child (1986) Directed by Michael Ritchie