Thursday, May 31, 2018

"Why Do You Think You Are So Comfortable Here?....."



Agent J (Will Smith): "Why do you think you are so comfortable here?  Just about everybody that works in a post office is an alien."


Men In Black II (2002) Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

"You Hit Like A Vegetarian ...."



Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone): "I need to get in the isolation area."

Emil Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarzenegger): "No; you really don't."

Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone): "Yeah; I really do.  Call it a favor. Okay?"

Emil Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarzenegger): "Okay." (lands surprise punch)

Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone):  "That's a favor?!"

Emil Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarzenegger): "Sometimes, favors hurt."

Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone): "Really?!"

Emil Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarzenegger): "C'mon. Let's see what you can do?"

Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone): "Alright." (throws a punch and connects)

Emil Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarzenegger): (chuckles) "You hit like a vegetarian....."


Escape Plan (2012) Directed by Mikael Hfstrm

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

"I Know You Hate Me!!!!"



Bernie (Jack Black): "Marjorie, I'm not going to take part in this argument. You know I don't hate you and that's that.  NO."

Bernie (2011) Directed by Richard Linklater

Monday, May 28, 2018

"You Know What Your Problem Is?!....."



Dean (Kurt Russell): "You're so Goddamn bored, you gotta invent things to bitch about! You haven't got a single thing on this earth to do except your hair.  Yeah!  The closet was fine!  You just needed something to take up your useless, empty, nail-polishing, toe-polishing, rich-bitch suntanning day!!"

Overboard (1987) Directed by Garry Marshall 

Saturday, May 26, 2018

"Wow! So, This Is What It Feels Like Not To Be Invisible!...."



Harmony (Katharine McPhee): "We weren't exactly invisible before, just anti-hot."

The House Bunny (2008) Directed by Fred Wolf

Friday, May 25, 2018

"Are Ya'll Double Mint Twins?..."



Malcolm/Big Momma (Martin Lawrence): "Not in Big Momma's House!!!"


Big Momma's House (2000) Directed by Raja Gosnell 

Thursday, May 24, 2018

"I'm Blubberfying!!!"



Buddy/Prof. Sherman (Eddie Murphy): "Something is happening to me!  Everything is getting real dark. Oh!I feel real jiggly! I'm blubberfying! Sherman, you needed me!  I taught you to be confident! You needed me, Sherman!  Sherman!! No matter what.....no matter what, you got to strut!!!!"

The Nutty Professor (1996) Directed by Tom Shadyac 

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

"It's Puppy Cradle Death Syndrome..."



Therapist (Ken Jeong): "It's like a little kid that gets a puppy for the first time and it just hugs it so much, it snaps it's neck.  Cynthia is your puppy. It's puppy cradle death syndrome. All that love is going to snap that puppy.  You don't want that! Arf!!!"

Couples Therapy (2009) Directed by Peter Billingsley 

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

"Are You Going To Call For Help With A Comeback?..."



Mindy (Chole Moretz): "Actually, my daddy bought this from a disgruntled DARPA employee.  You see it was designed for crowd control but deemed too severe. It admits a post that creates spontaneous nausea and diarrhea. He called it the 'Sick Stick.'" 


Kick Ass 2 (2013) Directed by Jeff Wadlow 

Sunday, May 20, 2018

"Did You Forget To Take Your Xanax, This Morning?"



Annie (Kristen Wiig): "Are you sure you want it to say forever? ....I don't think you guys will be best friends, forever. No offense but the friends that you have when you are younger, sometimes you grow apart.  When you get older, maybe she finds a new best friend.  Maybe she'll be more successful than you are, and prettier, and richer and skinnier.  And they end up doing everything together." 

Teenage Customer (Mia Rose Frampton):"You're weird." 

Annie (Kristen Wiig): "I'm not weird. Okay"  

Teenage Customer (Mia Rose Frampton): "Yes; you are."

Annie (Kristen Wiig):  "No; I'm not and you started it."

Teenage Customer (Mia Rose Frampton): "No; you started it.  Did you forget to take your Xanax, this morning?"

Bridesmaids (2011) Directed by Paul Fieg

Saturday, May 19, 2018

"You Sure You Don't Want To Come With, Man?...."



Charlie Frost (Woody Harrellson): "It's so beautiful.  I'm going to stay." (looking in awe as Yellowstone erupts)

Jackson Curtis (John Cusack): "Good luck!"

2012 (2009) Directed by Roman Emmerick

Friday, May 18, 2018

"One Ugly Motherf***er...."



Dutch (Arnold Swartzenegger): "You are one ugly motherf**cker...."

Predator (1987) Directed by John McTiernan

Thursday, May 17, 2018

"Where Is He?!?!"



Roman (Dan Akroyd): "He's in the rafters! He's re-fueling!  Where are you?!"

Chet (John Candy): "He's on my face!!! He's on my face!!!!"

Roman (Dan Akroyd): "Hold still!!!" (swings and hits)

The Great Outdoors (1988) Written by John Hughes, Directed by Howard Deutch

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

"That Was Awesome!!!"



Brennan (Will Ferrell): "Hey Derek, you know what's good for shoulder pain?"

Derek (Adam Scott): "What?!"

Brennan (Will Ferrell): "If you lick my butthole." (laughing)

Dale (John C. Reilly): "Snap!!!" (laughs and gives high five)

Step Brothers (2008) Written and Directed by Adam McKay

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

"God, I Miss That Face!!!"



Castor Troy (John Travolta): "Oohwee!! You good looking! Ya hot!!!"

Agent Archer (Nicolas Cage): "Troy?" 

Face/Off (1997) Directed by John Woo

Monday, May 14, 2018

"Snooze....."



Mrs. Peenmen (Nancy Fish): "Ahhhh!!!!!!"

Stanley Ipcus/The Mask (Jim Carrey): "Ahhhhhh!!!!!"

The Mask (1994) Directed by Chuck Russell 

Sunday, May 13, 2018

"Ehhmmm Hmmmmm....."



Pitka the Love Guru (Mike Myers): "Darren, what is it you can't face?"

Darren (Romany Malco): "I can't face my mom."

Pitka the Love Guru (Mike Myers):  "Then, that is what you have to face!"

Darren (Romany Malco): "Will you help me?"

Pitka the Love Guru (Mike Myers): "I can't. You are on your own, when it comes to your mother. Darren, the only way out is in. (pointing to his heart)"

The Love Guru (2008) Directed by Marco Schabel

Saturday, May 12, 2018

"Face Forward....."



Brodie (Jason Lee): "Look. Brandy is the past, my friend. She's behind you, now. You face forward or you face the possibility of shock and damage." (Clunk!)

Mallrats (1995) Written and Directed by Kevin Smith 

Friday, May 11, 2018

"Welcome To The Eye......"



Dylan Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo): "The real magic is taking four strong solo acts and making them work together and that's exactly what you did.  So, welcome.  Welcome to the Eye."

Now You See Me (2013) Directed by Louis Leterrier

Thursday, May 10, 2018

"Haven't I Seen You Before?"



Roberta Muldoon (John Lithgow): "Do you like football?"

Garp (Robin Williams); "Oh yeah. I used to watch it quite a bit."

Roberta Muldoon (John Lithgow):  "Well, then you might have seen me. I was a tight-end with the Philadelphia Eagles - #90, Robert Muldoon."  

Garp (Robin Williams); "Ohhhh....."

Roberta Muldoon (John Lithgow):  "I had a great pair of hands."

Garp (Robin Williams); "Yes; you did! (laughing, awkwardly) Yeah!"

The World According To Garp (1982) Directed by George Roy Hill 

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

"How Bout You, Sweetheart?"



Dane Wells (Michael Shannon): "I'm a straight, white, Anglo-Saxon, ex-protestant, atheist, cop.  You okay with that, Sweetheart?"

Steven Goldstein (Steve Carrell): "I am. That is very hot."

Freeheld (2015) Directed by Peter Sollet

Monday, May 7, 2018

"Love To......"

.  

Mrs. Wallace//Kimmy's mom (Susan Sullivan): "George, this is so sweet of you to come to our rehearsal.  I insist you stay on to lunch."

Jules (Julia Roberts): "No. No. No. No. No. No. Absolutely.....(cut off by George)

George (Rubert Everett): "Love to. Love the bag. Love the shoes. Love everything. Love to."

Jules (Julia Roberts): "Darling. What about your flight?"

George (Rubert Everett): "Cancelled...."

My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) Directed by P.J. Hogan

Sunday, May 6, 2018

"Dude, You Saved My Life....."



Wheeler (Seann William Scott): "I did what any good co-worker would do."

Danny (Paul Rudd): "I honestly can't say that I would do the same for you."

Wheeler (Seann William Scott): "Oh, you would, Danny, because you're my friend. I want to hear you say it."

 Danny (Paul Rudd): "C'mon!?" 

Wheeler (Seann William Scott): "Say it."

 Danny (Paul Rudd):  "I'm your friend." (sigh)

Wheeler (Seann William Scott): "Will you hold me?"

 Danny (Paul Rudd): "No."

Wheeler (Seann William Scott): "Kiss on the cheek?"

 Danny (Paul Rudd): "No."

Wheeler (Seann William Scott): "Will you hug me?"

 Danny (Paul Rudd): "No. I don't want to do any of that."

Wheeler (Seann William Scott): "(groans) Oh, no."

 Danny (Paul Rudd): "Aren't you dead, yet?"

Wheeler (Seann William Scott): "Very close, Dr. Huff.  The end is near. (pretends to die)"

Role Models (2008) Directed by David Wain

Saturday, May 5, 2018

"Stop Smoking Scrolls....."



Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy): "This looks like a big joint."

 Kee Nang (Charlotte Lewis): "I'm serious, Mr. Jarrell."

Chandler Jarrell (Eddie Murphy): "Lick it and smoke it. (laughs - as he pantomimes) I think there were two of these (referring to the scroll) and you smoked the other one. Put this in your bag and stop smoking scrolls......"

 Kee Nang (Charlotte Lewis): "I realize this is hard for you to take in but it is your destiny to find the Golden Child."

The Golden Child (1986) Directed by Michael Ritchie 


Friday, May 4, 2018

"I Don't Need A Doctor. Dammit, I Am A Doctor...."



Dr. Leonard McCoy (Karl Urban): "Space is disease and danger, darkness and silence."

Lieutenant James T. Kirk (Chris Pines): "I hate to break this to you but Starfleet operates in space."

Dr. Leonard McCoy (Karl Urban): "Yeah, well, I got no place else to go.  The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All that I got left is my bones. (drinks from his flask and extends it )

Lieutenant James T. Kirk (Chris Pines): "Jim Kirk" (takes drink from the flask)

Dr. Leonard McCoy (Karl Urban): "McCoy. Leonard McCoy"

Star Trek (2009) Written by Gene Roddenberry, Directed by J.J. Abrams 

Thursday, May 3, 2018

"The Gong Show....."



Chuck Barris (Sam Rockwell): "Who could have known there was so many Americans, just waiting for an opportunity to get on TV and make an ass out of themselves."  

(Guy singing badly on stage gets"gonged" by celebrity judges.)

Chuck Barris (Sam Rockwell): "We'll be back with more stuff, right after these messages!" (cut to commercial)

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002) Directed by George Clooney 

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

"....Don't Try This At Home!"



Joe Dirt (David Spade): "This here is Rocky and he ain't no puppy. Now, let's see if Rocky's got some cavities. This mo' fo' knows not to mess with Sir Joseph Dirt."

Joe Dirt (2001)  Directed by Dennie Gordon, Written by David Spade 

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

"I Really Don't Believe In Age or Numbers....."



Surfing Coach Chuck (Paul Rudd): "I mean, if you had to put a number on it, I guess I'd be uhh, forty, uhh, forty four - fuck!!"

Peter (Jason Segel): "Well, thanks for taking me out here.  This is the best that I've felt in like three weeks or so."

Surfing Coach Chuck (Paul Rudd): "You need to get back on that board is what you need to do."

Peter (Jason Segel): "Yeah?"

Surfing Coach Chuck (Paul Rudd): "Hey, here's the deal: when life gives you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail."

Peter (Jason Segel): "Yeah. No; you said it. Totally."  

Surfing Coach Chuck (Paul Rudd): "You just gotta pull yourself up by your wetsuit and get back up on that board.  Hey, look man.  If you are attacked by a shark, are you going to give up surfing?" 

Peter (Jason Segel): "Probably.  Yeah."

Surfing Coach Chuck (Paul Rudd):  "Let's go in. Alright? Tacos are on me."

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) Directed by Nicholas Stoller, Written by Jason Segel